Wednesday, April 18, 2012

And What About Me? “Move On” By Repressing Emotions And Feelings Or Be Real?

So many people seem to think we shouldn’t even have emotions and feelings – especially the uncomfortable ones – and believe they need to be repressed or disciplined away and we need to MOVE ON.  Whew, it’s almost become a religion, this moving on business.

If I’m in a situation where I’m disempowered in some way and my emotions are very powerful, and I don’t know yet what to do to empower myself, people can get very impatient with me.  They want me to stop “feeling sorry for myself”.  They can get quite emotional about it themselves and try to bully me to do what will make them comfortable.

But where will I move on to?  Because wherever I go I’ll take my disempowered self and my emotions will now be repressed.  I’ll just be pretending, so I won’t be real.  I’ll get depressed but I won’t dare admit it because I’ve been told not to feel sorry for myself.  So I’ll add denial to the mix.  And this is somehow supposed to empower me?

What’s wrong with being where I am until I’ve learned in a real way and in my own way how to meet my needs – the needs that are coming up in the situation I’m in?  It’s uncomfortable, that much is true, but at least I’m letting myself be real.  Nobody likes uncomfortable, but uncomfortable isn’t bad, it’s just challenging. 

Sometimes I think this moving on obsession can be about not wanting to ever be uncomfortable, being unwilling to really deal with the deepest challenges in life.  It’s natural to want to be in a better situation, but I’ve got to be real careful that when I think I’m moving on I’m not just numbing out.

One thing is for sure.  Whatever we do, we can’t any more live our lives repressing our emotions to the point where we get depressed or worse – to where we look for ways to hurt and God forbid even kill ourselves or somebody else. 

Nor can we stand it anymore - never speaking out.  Over-compromising, staying in relationships that don’t work for us, or being in a cycle of always moving on from one unsatisfactory relationship to another that isn’t any different from the last.   Giving up on our dreams and that part of us that still so passionately wants them to come true.

Doing ourselves differently in how much we let ourselves feel and how we express those emotions and feelings is a big change.  It’s the kind that’s worth something because it affects everything in our lives in a real way.  Even if being real about our emotions is really difficult at first, if we take it slowly, no pressure, and keep it safe, gradually it starts getting easier.

Moving us towards a better understanding of ourselves, towards honoring and taking ourselves and our rights seriously.  So we can be experience love and respect in our relationships, and abundance and fulfillment in our lives.

To buy my ebook And What About Me? Am I Into Him? on how to get real love and respect and be real in relationships,  Click the title.